July 27, 2010
So, I was on a plane a few days ago and had a fun/terrifying experience. Fun/terrifying because in the following situation you can choose to blubber in a corner or laugh your ass off. We’d just boarded, people are still jossling around and getting there bags put away, then the pilot comes over the P.A. and says this. “So, we’re having a little issue. The airplane is a lot like your laptop. Occasionally you’ll get an error message. We’ve got one on the main board here so we’re going to just shut down the airplane for about 5 minutes and the power it back up to see if it goes away.” The next thing he said made me laugh like a lunatic. “I’ve never seen one like this and I have no idea what it means, but we’ll see if we can fix it.” Lots of things run thru your head when you hear something like that. Maybe they need my help. Maybe they should just hit ctrl,alt,delete, then hit task manager and end task… What the F$#@ is going on up there??? We should get off the plane. F&*% it! So, just pick one and go with it.
After banging on the dash board a few times and cursing vehemently, the “pilot” was able to get things straightened out and the plane powered up just in time for us to sit on the runway for an hour and contemplate why we chose to fly with (sounds like Flelta) in the first place.
July 16, 2010
Sometimes we men have to make sacrifices. Or in more PC terms, compromises. I want to watch Manswers on t.v. and zone out for an hour…read several. My wife wants to watch a movie about Venetian Courtesans. Hmmm, what to do, what to do? Weigh the options. Did I get my way before? Did I make her watch “Army of Darkness” for the 16th time? Yes. Maybe I should just watch the movie. Maybe there’ll be something in it I like. Sure enough…it’s an R rated film about prostitutes…and war. Bonus! Don’t miss the point though. It’s t.v. Happiness is not found there. Maybe distraction, but not happiness. True happiness is found in the eyes of the girl you love as she looks over in the middle of her movie, tears in her eyes from the movie she’s been dying to see. We’ll never truly understand why they like movies that don’t have guns and explosions. But they do. It’s a mystery. The compromises we make in these situations,minor though they may be can have great rewards for us in the future. Just remember that when your getting ready to argue over whose turn it is to have the remote.
May 06, 2010
So, I was on television today. Holy Crap! Not hand cuffed, wearing a wife-beater t-shirt, being shoved into the back of a squad car. Not this time anyway. I was actually talking about my book on our local morning show “Great Day Houston”. My buddy Sean cooked a modified recipe from my book and I got to talk to Deborah Duncan about the book itself. I think I did pretty well considering I didn’t forget how to speak even though I was partially in a trance-like state before I went on camera. Despite my shiny, oversized forehead I think I looked alright. You can see me in the video around 7 minutes 25 seconds. Watch until the very end for some unforeseen comedy. Check out the link below.
http://www.khou.com/great-day/gdh_050610_seg1-92974489.html
February 21, 2010
Have you memorized all the lines to Revenge Of The Nerds? “What the f&%$ is a robster craw?” Check. Was highschool a long series of academic clubs and A.P. classes? Check. Then it’s time you increase your coolness quotient by learning to cook. Sure you could get a mail order bride who will like you until she realizes you’re not a famous American actor, or you could just increase your skill set with something useful, like cooking. It doesn’t sound like much, but if you can make resaurant quality food anytime you feel like it you have a huge advantage over the knuckle draggers who think they’re Bobby Flay because they didn’t burn the crap out of the burgers. Look, ape man, I have the power to saute! Be amazed and fear me, then bring me your women!
If you’re ready for a crash course in cooking that tells you all you need to know to
- use food as an ice breaker to get a date
- set up a great date night
- cook great food
- make you look awesome
then click on my bookcover to the left and get started. We can still be nerds, but we will have our revenge. By the way revenge is not a dish best served cold. It’s actually perfect when braised for several hours and served over rice.
February 11, 2010
I’m giving away a free book and an Amazon gift certificate at The Smutketeers, a group of talented and sassy erotic romance authors. Come by and check it out!
January 19, 2010
As a natural born procrastinator I can always appreciate the value of a good long nap or at least some serious couch time. The thing about us procrastinators is that we dream for and want big things in our lives, but lack the drive to go out and get them…at least until the next commercial. What I’ve learned in the course of writing and procrastinating (long time) is that you have to eventually get off your ass (or GOYA as my Dad likes to say). Nothing you want is going to fall into your lap, especially if it’s worth having. You may want to get in shape, learn to cook, or get the girl of your dreams, but if you don’t GOYA, you’ll get Jack *&%$. And Jack just left town.
You have to create a little self discipline in your life to build the things you want. It sucks bigguns for a while just trying to get going. Then, before you realize it you dropped your procrastination habit and picked up a new one. Right now mine happens to be working out. I am motivated by myself in the most visceral of ways. My book cover smirks back at me and says “This is false advertising fat ass! You can’t see your abs. You can’t even see an ab. Hit the weights.” If you don’t have a book cover with an idealized version of yourself to motivate you, think of what will and use it.
December 14, 2009
Yes, I’m referencing Star Wars…the real one. OK so, the book is done and a proof copy is on it’s way for me to review and approve. Then it will be up and for sale through the link on my book cover. I’ll post again when it’s ready.
I’ve been working on this project for longer than I want to admit. But now I’m done. The formatting of the book felt like giving birth to a water buffalo six times, and made me question my sanity. But, my wife who is the greatest woman ever, helped me get through it. I owe her big time. Nothing left to do but wait for the mail man. This is worse than Christmas eve. I’m off to play on the 360 to make the time go faster. That leads me to my dating tip of the week. Check that posting and leave a reply. Thanks.
December 04, 2009
It took me long enough, but I’m finally here.
I wanted to write a cookbook that was more than a cookbook. Something that would teach men who had no clue how to shop, cook, or pay attention to the details in order to impress their significant others and improve their lives. Something I’ve done with friends and customers in person for years.
When you cook, and I’m talking more than mac and cheese or dialing out for pizza, you learn some elemental truths that seep into the rest of your life-and the way you treat your partner.
Clean is good.
Adding spice can make a bland dish sizzle
Don’t forget something you left simmering, or the whole meal can fall apart
There’s always room for Jell-O (Just making sure you were listening)
I’m not talking anything fancy. Foodies beware. I don’t claim to be a Food Network star, though I do have plans to begin a Youtube channel attached to this website by February. I just have a lot of guy friends who don’t understand how fulfilling it can be to create something for someone who truly appreciates it, and a lot of girl friends who wish their men were more attentive. And good food is the common denominator.
I love good food. It comforts, it makes you smile, it can remind you of home or send your imagination across the globe. And if you make it for someone you care about, and everything comes out perfectly and she loves it? Magic.
So here we are. …And He Can Cook! should be out in the next week or so. Just dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s. My website is up, and in my humble opinion, it rocks. My blog is online. And life tastes sweet.
Don’t think this will just be an ordinary cooking blog. I’ll have romance writers who offer glimpses into a woman’s psyche, glimpses most men desperately need. And I’ll be here to help every step of the way, talking about relationships and recipes.
So are you ready? Let’s get cooking.
