July 27, 2010
So, I was on a plane a few days ago and had a fun/terrifying experience. Fun/terrifying because in the following situation you can choose to blubber in a corner or laugh your ass off. We’d just boarded, people are still jossling around and getting there bags put away, then the pilot comes over the P.A. and says this. “So, we’re having a little issue. The airplane is a lot like your laptop. Occasionally you’ll get an error message. We’ve got one on the main board here so we’re going to just shut down the airplane for about 5 minutes and the power it back up to see if it goes away.” The next thing he said made me laugh like a lunatic. “I’ve never seen one like this and I have no idea what it means, but we’ll see if we can fix it.” Lots of things run thru your head when you hear something like that. Maybe they need my help. Maybe they should just hit ctrl,alt,delete, then hit task manager and end task… What the F$#@ is going on up there??? We should get off the plane. F&*% it! So, just pick one and go with it.
After banging on the dash board a few times and cursing vehemently, the “pilot” was able to get things straightened out and the plane powered up just in time for us to sit on the runway for an hour and contemplate why we chose to fly with (sounds like Flelta) in the first place.
July 16, 2010
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July 16, 2010
Is your food boring, or are you just tired of cooking the same 3 recipes week after week? Are your take out menus starting to wear thin along the folds? Try cooking something you’ve never had before. Sounds simple enough, but what if you don’t like it? Try this. Go to a restaurant that has food you’ve never tried before. Not a chain restaurant, but something locally owned, small and hopefully ethnic. Argentinian, Indian, Italian, Thai, Greek, etc. If you’re not sure what to get ask your server for a recommendation. The point is try something new and different to break you out of your rut and inspire you. Now go home and cook something from that region of the world. You can use my cookbook to try some of my regional recipes or go online. There is no shortage of resources for you to research and find a recipe for exactly what you ate, or maybe possibly perhaps..something new. Something not boring.
July 16, 2010
Sometimes we men have to make sacrifices. Or in more PC terms, compromises. I want to watch Manswers on t.v. and zone out for an hour…read several. My wife wants to watch a movie about Venetian Courtesans. Hmmm, what to do, what to do? Weigh the options. Did I get my way before? Did I make her watch “Army of Darkness” for the 16th time? Yes. Maybe I should just watch the movie. Maybe there’ll be something in it I like. Sure enough…it’s an R rated film about prostitutes…and war. Bonus! Don’t miss the point though. It’s t.v. Happiness is not found there. Maybe distraction, but not happiness. True happiness is found in the eyes of the girl you love as she looks over in the middle of her movie, tears in her eyes from the movie she’s been dying to see. We’ll never truly understand why they like movies that don’t have guns and explosions. But they do. It’s a mystery. The compromises we make in these situations,minor though they may be can have great rewards for us in the future. Just remember that when your getting ready to argue over whose turn it is to have the remote.
May 06, 2010
So, I was on television today. Holy Crap! Not hand cuffed, wearing a wife-beater t-shirt, being shoved into the back of a squad car. Not this time anyway. I was actually talking about my book on our local morning show “Great Day Houston”. My buddy Sean cooked a modified recipe from my book and I got to talk to Deborah Duncan about the book itself. I think I did pretty well considering I didn’t forget how to speak even though I was partially in a trance-like state before I went on camera. Despite my shiny, oversized forehead I think I looked alright. You can see me in the video around 7 minutes 25 seconds. Watch until the very end for some unforeseen comedy. Check out the link below.
http://www.khou.com/great-day/gdh_050610_seg1-92974489.html
February 21, 2010
Have you memorized all the lines to Revenge Of The Nerds? “What the f&%$ is a robster craw?” Check. Was highschool a long series of academic clubs and A.P. classes? Check. Then it’s time you increase your coolness quotient by learning to cook. Sure you could get a mail order bride who will like you until she realizes you’re not a famous American actor, or you could just increase your skill set with something useful, like cooking. It doesn’t sound like much, but if you can make resaurant quality food anytime you feel like it you have a huge advantage over the knuckle draggers who think they’re Bobby Flay because they didn’t burn the crap out of the burgers. Look, ape man, I have the power to saute! Be amazed and fear me, then bring me your women!
If you’re ready for a crash course in cooking that tells you all you need to know to
- use food as an ice breaker to get a date
- set up a great date night
- cook great food
- make you look awesome
then click on my bookcover to the left and get started. We can still be nerds, but we will have our revenge. By the way revenge is not a dish best served cold. It’s actually perfect when braised for several hours and served over rice.
February 11, 2010
I’m giving away a free book and an Amazon gift certificate at The Smutketeers, a group of talented and sassy erotic romance authors. Come by and check it out!
January 19, 2010
As a natural born procrastinator I can always appreciate the value of a good long nap or at least some serious couch time. The thing about us procrastinators is that we dream for and want big things in our lives, but lack the drive to go out and get them…at least until the next commercial. What I’ve learned in the course of writing and procrastinating (long time) is that you have to eventually get off your ass (or GOYA as my Dad likes to say). Nothing you want is going to fall into your lap, especially if it’s worth having. You may want to get in shape, learn to cook, or get the girl of your dreams, but if you don’t GOYA, you’ll get Jack *&%$. And Jack just left town.
You have to create a little self discipline in your life to build the things you want. It sucks bigguns for a while just trying to get going. Then, before you realize it you dropped your procrastination habit and picked up a new one. Right now mine happens to be working out. I am motivated by myself in the most visceral of ways. My book cover smirks back at me and says “This is false advertising fat ass! You can’t see your abs. You can’t even see an ab. Hit the weights.” If you don’t have a book cover with an idealized version of yourself to motivate you, think of what will and use it.
January 05, 2010
Small things matter to girls. Here’s an example. I was freaking out about what to get my wife this year for Christmas. I’ve known her for over a decade, we communicate better than a pair of psychic twins (creepy), and we have a lot of similar interests. Yet, I was asking for ideas from anybody I could get my hands on. I ended up getting her several different things, but what she loved the most were some fuzzy socks that I almost didn’t want to get because they’re what I consider a utility item. Something needed, but not desired. But she loved them. Because I remembered she needed them. Get it?
January 05, 2010
This week I’m trying to remember things. Where I put my pants, why I’m in this old lady’s kitchen putting marmalade on my face, did I put the car in park before coming into the house…New Year’s was crazy! It’s the little things that can really mess up your day. Here’s another little thing to remember. TASTE YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU SERVE IT! Sorry for yelling. That was my impression of Chef Ramsey, sans cursing and spitting. The easiest way to screw up your date night or your breakfast the next morning is to under or over season your food and not taste it before it gets to the table. More novice cooks and experienced chefs alike have screwed the pooch by missing that critical step. Don’t forget it. Now why is there a hole in the front of my house?
